Gunpowder Grotto

The thoughts and musings of a gunfighter wannabe.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Dumpster Diving

Here's an interesting little story that happened to me:

So, to start off, I was at a..."social gathering"...and after the "social gathering" was over, one of the people there and myself decided to stay behind and perform cleanup crew duties and take all of the garbage to the dumpster outside.

Well, I grabbed a couple bags of garbage, went down the building, and outside to the dumpster. I took all the garbage and threw it in, and was on my way back up to get some more. But I didn't, because something caught my eye. It was a large cardboard box that was opened, and inside it, were stacks upon stacks of old cassette tapes.

Now, I realize that cassette tapes are dead technology, but this was different. Thfere were tapes of Motley Crue, Bon Jovi, Michael Jackson (when he was black, and good), Whitesnake, Guns n Roses, AC/DC, Foreigner, Poison, Elton John, and even two comedy performances (Bill Cosby and Eddie Murphy).

Naturally, as you can guess, I grabbed a crapload of them. Sure, they smelled a little ripe, but since they were all in their cases, the tapes themselves were unharmed.

...STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!

Fine

I've been asked to post about how this dog named George is supposed to be the president of the world. Well, he is. There, I said it.

Something else that shouldn't go together, but does

A while ago, I started telling you the story of Hellsing, which combines Nazis and vampires in the same comic plot. Needless to say, that sounds like one of the stupidest things imaginable. Yet, for some strange reason, it all works out very nicely. It is this strange combination of A and 1 (hmm, A1 sauce...) that has brought me to you (all 3 of you) here once again.

First off, have any of you ever heard of a video game series called Final Fantasy? It is this series of games that are RPG in format (meaning, you and your team stand there, select an attack, then they attack the enemies) that, even though it's supposed to be "Final" Fantasy, has I'd have to say over 20 games (most redundant title for a game ever? Final Fantasy 10, part 2).

Now, there is another game series that is out there, called Kingdom Hearts. It's by the people who made Final Fantasy, and has all of the trademarks of their previous games (large, overrarching story, teams of 3 different characters fighting together, really unusual hair styles (like everything else Japanese), and a tale of love and selfless sacrifice. Oh, and the combat is real time instead of that "stand and wait" kind I described).

Here's the kicker, though: It's Disney. That's right. The characters, worlds, and subplots are all Disney. Yes, you will be going to the city of Agrabah and fighting a stickman named Jaffar with the help of Aladdin. Yes, you will be going to the African saharah and helping a lion named Simba reclaim his royal heritage from his evil uncle, Scar. Yes, you will be going to ancient China and helping a girl named Mulan and her annoying dragon friend defeat an army of Huns.

Sound freaking insane? It does. Something you should play? Very much so. I can't explain it. For some reason, a game that puts you in the shoes of a kid named Sora battling along with Donald and Goofy makes for a very good game. Don't believe me? Give it a try and then see if you can tell me that this was a bad idea. I dare you.

So...pissed off...part 3

Alright, so I'm sitting here at my computer, reading some random stuff on the internet, while drinking some coffee and eating my Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal. Suddenly, I notice something in my Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal. That something looks like a little black bead. That little black bead turns out to be an ant that drowned in the milk. That ant was not alone. That is why the state will never let me buy a gun.

HOLY CRAP!....I HAVE A BLOG!!!!!

Wow, has it really been over a month since I've updated this relic? Wow. Just, wow. I guess I have some explaining to do, don't I? Well, I just graduated from high school, but that's not why I've been gone. The reason, is because my dad decided to get me a graduation gift: an Xbox 360.

...Why yes, I am a spoiled brat, and why yes, I do realize that very soon reality is going to tear my ass a new one. The contract I have with my dad states that after he's spoiled me rotten, he will guarantee that this will happen. But I digress.

So I got an Xbox 360. I didn't get any games for it, so I had to go and buy my own (see? It's starting already). What game did I get, you ask? Why, I got Oblivion.

...Why yes, I am a total geek.

So yes, I have been playing a video game this whole time. Now, if you'll excuse me, the land of Tamriel isn't going to save itself.