Gunpowder Grotto

The thoughts and musings of a gunfighter wannabe.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

My entire view of the world has been shot

No, I'm not talking about the election results, but something much, much more serious. You see, the other day I was on my way to college, but I had to stop by Target (a Wal-Mart type store for those of you who don't know what it is. If you don't know what Wal-Mart is, you suck) in order to get some supplies. Whilst running around and grabbing everything I need in less than 3 minutes because I'm a guy and guys are naturally superior when it comes to speed shopping (no offense ladies, you still kick our asses when it comes to grabbing the RIGHT things), I decided to quickly stop by the electronics department, because yesterday was the release date for Final Fantasy V Advance for the Game Boy Advance. Bought the first copy of the day (everyone's too busy buying Gears of War, said the clerk), and played it during my break at college. And, as with any Final Fantasy game, it's awsome.

Now, here's the problem. I picked it up this morning to play, and was having a good time. However, before I go on, I feel like I should explain something to anyone of my 2 or 3 readers that don't know that much about video games. You see, it is the law of videogamedome that any enemy that is classified as "undead", such as a zombie, ghost, skeleton, etc., is very weak against fire attacks. Well, as I was playing in the Fire Ship, I ran into an enemy called Poltergeist. Judging by it's name, appearance, and variety of attacks, I concluded that it is an undead enemy. So, I did what any video game veteran would do: use my fire spell and fry the sucker. But, to my surprise, nothing happened. I tried again, and got the same result. Later, after I'd killed the thing by cutting it up into a million pieces with my mythril swords and daggers, I went into my Bestiary to investigate, and do you know what I found? The Poltergeist is IMMUNE TO FIRE ATTACKS! Not resistant, but fully immune.

The Final Fantasy series, which virtually invented how an RPG is supposed to play, has shattered one of gaming's most sacred rules of battle. I don't know what to do. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHAT DO I DO?!

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